Kyrie Eleison

She never had any one

To tell her what she’d done.

No one could ever tell with her,

She would never look you in the eye, sir.

Sir—the only word she’d known to say,

The rest she’d toss away to the fray.

See, there’s this line that divides the insane and the genius.

She danced over that line with the devil, always so serious.

She wants to believe,

But everything runs right through that sieve.

Be a lady, she would hear.

An individual, she would fear.

Own dreams stashed away in a pink box,

Sealed with a bright bow, right next to that cross.

Never opened, her love would stay untouched

Never awoken, she never knew of love and such.

Inadequacies, she would always get

With appreciation, she was in debt.

Her forts were never built long to last,

Her fate was cast.

Her daddy never believed a word she said,

Her whole life she would live to dread.

Every night she goes to bed,

With the hunger of curiosity never fed.

“Deliver us from the evil one,” she says.

“Kyrie Eleison,” she begs.

Fade

I look out my window

Feeling at my all-time low

I sit and watch the sunrise

The rays hitting exactly where you lie

Everyday I count the miles

Wishing for a recount all the while.

 

The distance between us grows farther every day

And now you work to keep your heart at bay

So I try to do the same

How much longer must we keep up this charade?

You’ve left me in the water

Now I’ve been abandoned to drown

 

Am I losing you?

You have no idea what I’m going through

Don’t you see?

You lose a part of yourself in forgetting me.

 

You’re the one who told me first

We’d keep in touch but now its worse

It’s all a mystery to me

What you and I were meant to be

But even though we’re so far away

I can’t bring myself to say

Goodbye

Ten Rules of Estrogen

1. The girl who throws the first hit is never the victim.
2. The girl who gets hit first is immediately the victim.
3. The girl with the more pitiful tears is always the damsel in distress.
4. The girl who walks away first is either a pacifist or coward.
5. The girl who strikes while the opponent’s back is turned is an unfair coward.
6. The girl who tells the world, “You’re wrong” is often wrong.
7. The girl who tells the most threats is quite intent on doing none of them.
8. The girl who claims to bring in reinforcements is either a coward or a girl with resources.
9. The girl who yells and makes a scene is either a coward or a drama queen.
10. The girl who cusses the most is always running out of verbal ammunition. (i.e. vulnerable to takedown within twenty seconds.)

The Girl in the Blue Bikini

She wishes She hadn’t come to the pool.

She wishes She had brought sunscreen.

She wishes She could be like The Girl in the Blue Bikini.

 

The Girl in the Blue Bikini is laughing and smiling.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini is surrounded by her friends.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini is perfectly tan.

 

She notices how the boys try to impress The Girl in the Blue Bikini.

She notices how the girls try to borrow makeup from The Girl in the Blue Bikini.

She notices how the entire poolside party revolves around The Girl in the Blue Bikini.

 

The Girl in the Blue Bikini is approached by a tall good-looking boy.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini is hugging the tall good-looking boy.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini is playfully tossed in the water by the tall good-looking boy.

 

She feels jealous as The Girl in the Blue Bikini is rescued by the tall good-looking boy.

She feels jealous as The Girl in the Blue Bikini gets a kiss from the tall good-looking boy.

She feels jealous as The Girl in the Blue Bikini has everything She could ever want.

 

The Girl in the Blue Bikini laughs and kisses the tall good-looking boy back.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini laughs and takes a picture with her friends.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini laughs and walks with confidence.

 

She looks and sees the tall good-looking boy yank The Girl in the Blue Bikini back to him.
She looks and sees the tall good-looking boy speak angrily to The Girl in the Blue Bikini.

She looks and sees the tall good-looking boy turn around and walk back to the party.

 

The Girl in the Blue Bikini fakes a smile and walks back to the party.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini fakes a smile and laughs at something her friends said.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini fakes a smile and surreptitiously wipes a tear away.

 

She understands that The Girl in the Blue Bikini is not happy.

She understands that The Girl in the Blue Bikini is trying too hard.

She understands that The Girl in the Blue Bikini is not real.

 

The Girl in the Blue Bikini looks at Her and smiles.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini looks at Her and looks sad.

The Girl in the Blue Bikini looks at Her and wishes that she could be like

Soul Speaker

Her mother walks in through the door.
Her mother yells about the mistake of having such a child.
Her mother laughs about the child's failures.
She slams the door after her mother's retreating figure.
She slams the door on love.
She slams the door on hope.
The air drops negative degrees.
The air tangles with her curly hair.
The air bursts with cruel vengeance.
She throws a punch at the unforgiving wall; only too late does she remembers the promise she made.
She throws another punch but at her pillow; she knows the pain will not reach her here.
She throws herself upon the floor; she is numb by this point.
Turning around, she desperately looks for an escape route.
Turning around, she swears she smelled his sweet innocent scent.
Turning around, she falls to her knees in a beg for mercy.
Crying out, she sees the picture of them upon her desk.
Crying out, she snatches the picture and drives it through with her bare fist.
Crying out, she gently picks up the photo and kisses the jagged glass upon his cheek.
Picking up the broken glass, she clutches it in a death grip in her hand.
Picking up the broken glass, she holds her hand out over the seventeenth story window of her apartment.
Picking up the broken glass, she lets the glass fall to the ground in the pretty pattern that glass falls in.
She wonders if she'll ever fall in such grace.
She wonders if she'll ever use her right hand again.
She wonders if she'll ever see him again.
The mirror taunts her.
The mirror shows her blatant honesty.
The mirror is too bright for her to see.
Looking at her reflection, tears stain her smooth cheeks.
Looking at her reflection, she is blinded by hate.
Looking at her reflection, she shatters the glass into a million sparkling pieces.
The glass falls all around her.
The glass falls upon her face and leave a signature of red.
The glass falls but still reflects a million more honest copies of herself.
Empty is the will she used to have.
Empty is the hollow heart of hope.
Empty is the air as she falls from seventeen stories.
Glorious is the thrill of wind against her skin.
Glorious is the thrill of speed out of control.
Glorious is the thrill of the blessed end.

He said, She said.

"I have to leave," he said.
A part of her died.
"But I love you," he tried.
"I hate you," she lied.
"I'm trying to save you!" he cried.

 

He was hurt.
She was the first.

He held her tight.
She did not fight.

He was so confused.
She felt so misused.

He thought it was the right thing to do.
She felt her heart break right in two.

He cared too much.
She was so prone to hurt and such.

He gave what he called freedom.
She received damnation.

He let her cry on his shoulder.
She leaned on him, the ungiving boulder.

He held her heart and kissed her cheek.
She knew she would not last a week.

He took her hand and led her out of the darkness.
She felt alone and so worthless.

He wanted to tell her the truth.
She felt she had nothing to lose.

He kept to himself.
She hated herself.

 

"I'm sorry," she tried.
"Me too," he lied.
A part of him died.
"Please save me," she cried.
"I tried," he sighed.

Baby Sweetheart Darling

 

Baby let me see your hands

Free of blood but not of your own

Nothing a Band-Aid couldn’t fix

If life were only that easy.

 

Sweetheart hear me out

I’ve just realized

You’re completely clueless

If life were only that innocent.

 

Darling talk to me

If you can’t communicate with sound

How can you communicate without?

If life were only that careful.

 

Endearment of mine

Your cross has become too heavy to hold

I’d say lean on me

If life were only that caring.